The mean voice in my mind is fully participating in my depressive mental health today. Mean to me, not to others. Overwhelming anxiety has come over me in the past twenty-four hours. At times, I lose my breath and have to gasp once or twice to catch my breath again. This has been happening to me when I am at rest. I am sure it is an emotional response to what is going on with me versus a physical malady. If it continues I will write a note about what is happening at the time, what am I doing, feeling, and thinking at that moment. If it occurs a few more times I can learn from the notes I'll be keeping. I also have felt my entire body trembling. I am in fear, anxiety, and depression and it is not a comfortable mix.
I like to work with my inner child as she is the one who experienced trauma. Today I am trying to be very gentle and patient with the little girl inside me. Assuring her that I am strong and I will always be here for her. I believe it is the child within that is so fearful and anxiety-ridden. I am wondering if something from my past is trying to surface and I am just shutting it down with an emergency - the fact that I can not breathe. I will continue to work through these episodes and feelings. I have discussed it with a safe person in my life and will bring it to my therapist as well. I am also practicing saying my positive affirmations, journaling, praying, and meditating. This too shall pass.
Take good care,
Christine
"To be surprised, to wonder is to begin to understand." -- Unknown