Bipolar Ultra-Rapid Cycling
I am feeling very uncomfortable in this ultra-rapid cycling episode. For twelve months I have been cycling from depression to hypomania and then the cycle repeats. My depression is deep and full of hopeless and sad feelings, lack of motivation, and low self-worth. My hypomanic side feels great, the entire world is wonderful, full of energy, and racy in thoughts, words, and actions. This past week of ultra-rapid cycling is really taking a toll on me. I go through the cycle of hypomanic to depression a couple of times in a few hours. My regular sleep schedule has been disrupted and I am not getting quality, solid sleep. I no longer enjoy the hypomanic state because as I said I feel great and productive during these times. Now it is just very uncomfortable. My mind is so racy that I get lost in familiar areas and sometimes dissociate and do not know where I am even though I am driving in my hometown. I am even having trouble corralling my thoughts to write this blog.
I contacted my psychiatrist and he increased the dosage of my mood stabilizers. I am hoping to feel more stable soon.
Take good care,
Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness. -- Jean Vanier