Over the past week, I have been in one of my deepest, darkest depressions. I have been so low and unmotivated that I was not able to participate in my own blog. I need to challenge so many of my beliefs when I am in this darkness. Feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, and despair. Instead of telling myself what a loser I am, I need to reframe that and tell myself that I am an individual who lives with mental illness and that some periods of time will be hard. My anxiety is tremendous. I walk around with tension in my shoulders, hands, and stomach and the worst physical sensation is that I feel like someone is actually choking me. Past experience teaches me that I can admit I am in crisis and make sure that my doc, therapist, and support system understand that I need extra help right now. I also know that there are things I can do to help myself.
My symptoms of anxiety and depression:
Very low mood
Tears constantly
Feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.
Experiencing suicidal ideation.
The physical feeling of being choked.
Copious amounts of anger, fear, and shame.
Low motivation.
Sleeping too much.
Things I can do to help myself:
Stay in contact with my support network, both professionals and family and friends.
Get outside, and take a walk.
Continuously work on using a gentle, patient, and kind voice in my mind.
Pray and meditate.
Practice yoga.
Practicing self-care can help to boost my mood, even if just a little bit.
Take good care,
Christine
"We let go of the burdens that were never ours to carry." -- Unknown