Four days ago I was hypomanic and yesterday my mood crashed. I was so down, with depression, and crying throughout the day. This rapid cycling has been present for eleven months I spent the day in my pajamas and chalked it up to a mental health day. Today I am still feeling down, better than yesterday and the tears are still close. I am feeling very angry about living with bipolar. This mood state is relentless. I am at the mercy of my monkey mind, which betrays me often. I am so tired of these moods that are like a Yo-Yo, up for a period, then a down phase. Repeat.
Knowing that my peace of mind is directly related to my acceptance, I try. I feel like I have to accept on each new day that I suffer from mental illness and I never know what the day will bring. Sometimes the very little things are important. Today I ran errands, paid bills, tidied up my place, and reached out to several friends. On a day like today, when I am struggling, I need to consider those things as great accomplishments.
The only way out is through and this too shall pass.
Take good care,
Eventually, I came to realize that I did deserve to be treated with love and respect, and I started to act accordingly. -- Hope For Today