Mixed episodes can be very turbulent. I am experiencing this state of bipolar at the moment. It has been several weeks of this mood state and I am exhausted. I spend a few days in hypomania - elevated mood, talking and moving constantly, no appetite, excessive shopping, and grandiose ideas. And then I will spend several days in depression - lots of tears, extreme sadness, and negative thinking. Everything feels like it's covered in a heavy blanket and colored in gray. Every few days the mood flips and the cycle repeats again and again. Although very difficult to live with, this is better than extreme rapid cycling. I have also experienced this state when the two moods switch on and off from moment to moment. Then I really don't know whether I'm coming or going and it is harder to function in everyday life. So I guess I'm grateful each mood is lasting a couple of days instead of minutes or hours.
Mixed State: "Bipolar Disorder is often thought of as a condition with alternating periods of depression and mania. While some people do experience distinct periods of each, many people with bipolar disorder may experience symptoms of both depression and mania at the same time. This is now called bipolar with mixed features. Bipolar Disorder with mixed features is thought to affect one-third to half of the people with bipolar disorder." (Healthline.com)
The only way out is through. I keep my supportive people very close and continually reach out for help. I have a session with my psychiatrist in a few days and we will discuss this mood extensively. For me, this may require a change in my medicine. Hope, for me, is in communicating honestly with a trusted person or persons.
Take good care,
"We can still maintain our serenity, our spirituality, and our sanity by remembering that for every act of madness there is always a corresponding act of beauty."
-- Angel Wisdom